she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
