I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
