didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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