when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
