I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
