have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize