I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
