I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
