You smell like stripper and shame
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize