Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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