i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
