this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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