it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
There are leaves in my underwear?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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