His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
