everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize