Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I FOUND THE LEGS
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
