But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
