is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
