Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
