im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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