there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
