Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
