He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
