So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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