Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
