I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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