Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
