I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
