i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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