Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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