I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
