I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
