well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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