Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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