Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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