I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
