i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
