Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
