Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
