Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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