My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
