Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
