I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
