I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
