Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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