I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
