i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
