It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
