I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
