Im at strip club and am horny
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
