1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize