ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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