Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
