then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
