O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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