thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
