look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
