I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
We got so high we made milksteak
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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