Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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