He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
