I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
