Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
NoShamevember. You game?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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