My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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