Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
