It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
