every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize