Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
