So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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