we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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