she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize