You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
