Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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