I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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