Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
im six kinds of drunk right now
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's never too late to be topless.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
