Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize